Slipping Through

I used to plan everything
every detail, every step,
even the formlessness of existence
I tried to map.

Now, my plans, like sand,
slip through my fingers.
Trapped in limbo,
bereft of hope
I stand.

I wander, seeking happiness,
like a phantom, it taunts me.
It appears on strangers’ faces,
in the fleeting warmth of winds on distant shores
only to vanish as I reach for it.

Love, I had myself believe,
is certain in an uncertain world.
But certainty carves its own torment.
And I carry its weight,
growing heavier with every unspoken word,
every day that passes unseen.

I, a prisoner,
cling to the chains of my past.
Love comes whispering,
not as my savior,
but a curse demanding meaning
where there never is one.

I craved
to know a feeling in its truest form,
unbroken and pure.
instead, it left me broken
Offered tiny fragments of delusion.

And so I wander,
endlessly waiting,
not for meaning,
but to fade into the silence of shadows
where even echoes do not follow.